I was never like this. i was always someone who cared. cared about people more than i cared about myself. I never thought twice about doing something for someone or lending a helping hand to someone. i was someone who always had a smile on my face, a kind word on my lips for everyone. didnt matter if i knew the person or no. I loved to joke, play pranks loved to have a hearty laugh.
But its not the same anymore. I dont laugh, dont even smile. I might help someone in distress but it doesnt give me the happiness it used to. Somebody smiles at me and i dont know how to react anymore. Sure i smile back but it takes a hell lot of effort for me to smile and i dont know whether i want to put in that effort anymore. I used to feel like a winner. Now i dont wanna play. Still not scared of losing (afterall what can a man who doesnt have anything lose) just dont know if i have the strength to play this game called life anymore. I am sitting online now. Friends, acquaitances and everybody keep sending IM's asking me to hangout with them, party with them. Live with them. But do i want to live ??? I dont know. Maybe i dont want to. Maybe the only way all this pain, misery and hurt will go away if i go away. but i am too scared to let all of this go away coz i want to live. I have dreams. Dreams of a better day, a better life a better me. If i go then all of those will also cease to exist. But those dreams are too beautiful to just let go. Is this weakness ? I used to think that my biggest strength was the power to dream. was i wrong ? i hope not. I always believed ( and still do) that the person who doesnt have any dreams is as good as dead. I dont wanna die. I cant be dead. Theres too much to lose in dying. I have a lifetime ahead of me filled with love, happiness and freedom. A life without dreams is incomplete. and i dont wanna live an incomplete life. I wanna dream and i want a chance to make my dreams come true. so please let me live, let me dream and let me fly. I promise no matter how high i fly i will always come back to the ground.
Zindagi... jisne mujhe hasna sikhaaya, rona sikhaaya
Ladna sikhaaya, aur ladkar jeetna sikhaaya,
Kabhi bahut hasaya, toh kabhi hadd se zaada rulaaya,
Par kabhi isne yeh nahi sikhaaya,
ke khud se kaise lada jaaye,
aur ladkar khud se kaise jeeta jaaye.
Kambakth zindagi ne humein kamzor banaya..
aaj ehsaas hua iss kamzori ka
jab saamna hua khud se khudi ka
naa kuch keh sake naa kuch kar sake
yeh muqabla tha hamara aur khudi ka
khudi ne na poochi humse raza hamari
shayad yeh thi ab saza hamari
jeene ke armaan dil mein dabaye
hum chal diye apna sar jhukaaye
na ladne ki takat na kuch bolne ka hausla
yeh hi tha muqabla hamara aur khudi ka...
TERROR KA BAAP KAUN ???
16 years ago
7 comments:
I go by a saying..which you've probably heard ! " Live every day like your last. Someday you will be right !" So its ok if you find it hard to live. Just remember, you die tomorrow.. so what do you want to do with life today ? !!
Life is calling !! Where are you ?
luvd wt u wrote bt u have nt opened ur heart becoz there is much more inside but ur still hidin it n ur heart.though very well written but open up urself to the beauty of wrds u will do much more wonders coz widout openin up u cn write so well once ur free believe me ppl will have literal tears int heir eyes....
life is to love,life is to live..........and ups n downs brings exitement in life,imagine a simple life wid everything moving smotthly.......how broing right
jo jus keepsmiling thruout,the world has lot 2 giv u..........its never the end until unless evryhting is fine,if things r not fine,rememebr,its not the end...............keeprocking,keepsmiling,tc
Hi hits this is me Nush,
I read ur first blog, its good that u can express urself, bcz some ppl even cant (like me!) , and yaa about life what u said i think every one goes through it even me many times!!!, but the best thing is that never lose hope bcz at the end that what keep us alive. right :)
tc
wow!
it sure takes alot to open yourself up like this.
Post a Comment