Our Children: Our Future.

I met a friend today. Sitting in a café we were discussing a lot of things including her college. And she told me a very interesting thing. Juniors in her college indulge in eve teasing. Guys tease the girls, even seniors and girls dress up like beauty queens(I am being kind) to attract the maximum attention from, you guessed right, guys. That got me thinking and I knew I had the “masala” for my next post. This post is dedicated to all of us, who were once children. And I think its very relevant in times like today. Today, when everything happens so quickly. Everything, including growing up. Seems as if kids of today are born as adults. They don’t want a football or a cricket bat for entertainment. They want the latest mobile phones, the latest play station and the hottest dates. Nothing wrong in that. But isn’t there a time for everything? I remember when we were kids it was all about fun and games. Games like football, cricket, kho kho, hide n seek. Anything that required us to be out of the house, up and playing. Anything the required us to scream, get dirty and sometimes even fight. Computers were scary things that were meant to be used by dad for his work and sometimes cross check those stupid math problems. Gadgets like Play station or video games were meant only for curfew days. Days, when we were grounded because the school teacher complained of our assignments being not on time. Mobile phones were a pure luxury and not a toy like it is for the kids today. School was a different matter altogether. For some it was as sacred as a temple (ya ya… I knew that variety too) and for others (like me) it was a place where we could meet friends and have fun while getting educated. Education was of paramount importance but we made sure we got our daily fill of sports. Sure we had female friends too but they were just that, friends. Nothing more nothing less. Some were as good as the guys and hence they were buddies. There wasn’t any place for girl friends(i.e. romance), alcohol or even cigarettes. Drugs and sex were out of the question. We did not even know what marijuana or hash was. And words like making out or fondling were alien to us. And today I see 12 year olds dressed up like King Elvis(pun intended) going out to meet their girl friends. Stealing their dads car keys so that they can get a bit of “privacy” with their girlfriends. I remember, I had my first kiss at the age of 15 (which was considered to be VERY EARLY at that time) and was too scared to tell my friends about it. Not because it was bad or wrong but because I was scared that I would be banned from my group of friends. It was considered a taboo back then.
Back then.. it sounds so far of and distant when actually it was just a few years ago, maybe a decade. But in reality it seems like a time as ancient as stone age or the age of the Neanderthal man. What has changed in the past decade? By the looks of it, nothing. I mean, babies are still born with their eyes closed and fists clenched. Not with a pair Gucci or prada sunglasses adorning their eyes. The doctor still slaps their butt to make them cry ascertaining everything is ok. Well, these are some things that wont be changing for a long time (or maybe they already have, I dunno) but what has changed is the outlook of parents towards their kids and the definition of “best”. Every parent in this whole wide world wants nothing but the best for their child. From the moment the child is conceived to the moment it enters the world he/she is given the best possible care and protection according to the social strata of parents. Nothing wrong in that. The child deserves it. And nothing wrong in it even after the child is born. That’s the time when he/she needs the maximum care and protection to survive. But what about the time when the child is around 5-6 years old. I mean, he can talk a bit now, walk and even play. Do the parents need to keep running behind the child? I don’t think so. But yet you see so many parents still running around their kid with a glass of milk or the food plate in hand. Isn’t that when the spoiling of the child begins?? Today if a child is getting bored the mom or dad will just turn on the TV and give the kid the remote. Anybody bothers to check what he/she is watching? As we all know there is a lot of thrash appearing on TV these days. What if the child is watching that? Aren’t we kinda exposing him/her to nudity/porn at a very tender age? When the child starts going to school before the bag a mobile phone is thurst into his hand so that he/she can call mom or dad in case of distress. But anybody checked the lewd texts being exchanged with his fellow classmates? Not really. Why? Coz mum n dad are too busy in their own lives to check on the “apple of their eye”. Today if a child wants to play he is provided with a computer or a video game to sit and play in the house. But has anyone taken care to check if the child is actually playing a game on the computer and not surfing porn? Every body has a life to live including the parents but are they so busy that they cant spare 30 minutes in a day to talk to their children? Too busy to tell them what’s right and what’s wrong? Dammit if you were so busy why the hell did you make time to have the kid in first place? Or is it, as a sweetheart friend pointed out, that all these expensive gadgets and toys a nothing but an alternative provided by parents so that the child doesn’t demand much of their time? As the human race has progressed the demands made on our time has just kept increasing. A normal family can barely survive on the mans income alone. So the lady also has to work and hence spending time with the child becomes a little difficult. Difficult but not impossible. As my friend rightly pointed out during our times too both the parents were working and had stressful lives but they made sure the kids got the required time of them. They were always there when we needed their help with a difficult math problem. Mom was always around to checkup on the English assignment. No matter how tired he was dad was always game for few cricket hits in the park. I don’t remember my mom telling me to eat outside or in the canteen coz she was too busy to pack our lunch boxes. And believe me these things however small or insignificant they may seem helped in making me and my brother like so many of our generation become the kind of men or women we are today. And I think we have done all right for ourselves. Ok, I am not for a moment saying that all the parents of today don’t have time for their kids. Please don’t get me wrong. There are still hordes of people who spend quality time with their kids. Are there for them when kids really need them. Take pleasure in playing with their kids. I for a fact know of so many women who have sacrificed their growing careers so that they can look after their kids. I bow down to them in respect. I have no doubt that their children will turn out to be fine ladies/gentlemen who will not only excel in their professions but will also become nice human beings. But unfortunately such a number is receding and receding very quickly. In this mad race of reaching somewhere a lot of people have sacrificed on the time they spend with their kids. My father has only one reply whenever me or my brother ask him why does he have to work so hard? He says I am doing it for you, my children. I would like to believe that is the case with each and everybody. But aren’t they sort of ruining all their hard work by not giving their kids the time they need. As my friend rightly pointed out the child will one day turn around and say “I am ready to give up the video games and the computer but will you then have the time for me? Will you take me to the park to play?” That’s the big question, do we have time for our children? Don’t we always take the easier way out? We do. They just give them the remote and then………… then what? Who cares if the child is watching porn, violence, gore or anything else? I shudder to think what the child who has been exposed to such stuff at a very tender age will grow into. A rapist, a murderer or a drug addict? Is that what you want your future doctor/engineer/banker/businessman turning into? If the answer is no then your options are very limited. You have to sit down with the little one, spend time with him/her and explain the rights and the wrongs, the must-dos and the avoid like plague. Just the way your folks did. Which in turn made you the fine man/woman you are.